it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
