So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So here I am, sexting at work.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
