dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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