The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
