i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize