did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
