please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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