Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
