I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
