rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
