So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
