His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
