Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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