New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
