it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
