the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
