is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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