I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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