I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize