woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
