I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
