Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
