if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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