I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
