How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
