I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
