What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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