apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
