And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sober January is a disaster.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
