you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
