Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
