somebody snuck up and got me drunk
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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