I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
