i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
