yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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