any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
