This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
