tell your sister to shave her snatch
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
