You can't special order awesome
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They took my balls.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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