She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
