How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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