I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
be right there i have to get my cape
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
