I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
