Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize