Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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