Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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