your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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