I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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