The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You dont lie about slip and slides
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
