Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
