do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
