Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
