Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think I sprained my soul last night
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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