Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
