I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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