she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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