sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
