Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
