It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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