Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
