question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
