You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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